Change… It can be either a glorious thing or what seems like a disaster. Either way, I believe it is necessary for growth. In my sessions with clients, I will ask them when the last time was that they wrote out their goals. When was the last time you set intentions? When was the last time you thought about what you want? I am sure that just got you thinking, didn’t it? I was very blessed to be raised in a very goal-oriented home, although, as I got older, I did get away from it. Remember those Sears Wish Books? My brother and I were allowed to choose one thing out of that book within a certain price range and hang it on the fridge. After so much time spent doing our chores and behaving ourselves, we were allowed to have it. It really taught us the value of working for something. It was like a visualization board on our refrigerator. Seeing that picture every day made us want to work for it.
When we engage in setting goals for ourselves and setting intentions of what we would like or like to happen, the Universe starts to put things into action. You can check out books about the Law of Attraction; The Secret by Rhonda Byrne and The Law of Attraction by Abraham Hicks are two of my favorites. Our main priority is to know what we want. A lot of people don’t even know. When we start putting our faith in a higher power, we end up moving in directions towards what we want. This does not by any means mean you have to be religious; it’s the knowing that we can have and deserve whatever it is we want and willingness to get out of our own way.
How do we get out of our own way? Silence the ego. Tell that doubtful, negative voice in your head to be quiet. Be aware that every time you have fear, worry and doubt, that is just your ego, not reality. Your ego likes to hold onto negative past experiences. Ego likes to beat you up, making you feel unworthy or guilty. Your ego wants to be justified by attacking others when they attack you. There is a quote that says: “Staying calm in the midst of chaos is mastering the ego.” When you feed into your ego by agreeing with it, it grows and becomes louder. Some people silence it with cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, shopping, relationships–anything that keeps them from actually dealing with the issue. It is when we take a look inside ourselves and find the heart of the problem that we can truly heal and let it go without addictions, without a loud ego.
Change can be a HUGE way for the ego to grow and get loud. Change can be extremely uncomfortable, at least at first. However, if we are looking to grow and achieve our goals, change is necessary. And no matter how uncomfortable it may be at first, it almost always lands us exactly where we want and need to be. Sometimes change is a stepping stone in the right direction and not completely what we want. Give it time and you will see that you are indeed on the right path. Don’t be surprised if at times your goals change along the way. Sometimes in the midst of a pursuit, something better comes along. It is the Universe’s way of saying, “You may have thought you knew what was best for you, but I have something better.” So do not get discouraged and stay as patient as possible. All good things can take some time. Just know that every time the ego creeps up, it is telling you that you are in your own way.
Here are some ways I silence my ego, especially during times of change:
1. Meditate, meditate, meditate… Go to YouTube.com and search for a guided meditation. They are much easier for you to follow, especially if you are just starting.
2. Get outside. Walk, run, go on a swing, kayak, hike, garden, swim, ride a bike, read a book under a tree or on a bench. Go for a drive with the windows down.
3. Exercise.
4. Watch a comedy or funny YouTube video.
5. Be with your pets or go to an animal shelter and surround yourself with their unconditional love.
6. Help someone in need.
7. Charity work.
8. Listen to music–no, not angry music.
9. Journal.
10. Play a game.
11. Engage in anything that brings you joy.
12. Take a short nap.
13. Purge. There is something about getting rid of clutter or things that you no longer need/use that can be so exhilarating. Donating them to charity makes it even better.
14. Write down all of your negative emotions and put them in a prayer box.
I would like to end this by telling you a story that my father just shared with me. In the military, my dad and the rest of the crew were told that there is a great way to kill a monkey if you really want to eat it. He said, you put a peanut in a jar and hang it from the tree. A jar where they can fit their hand in, but cannot get it out. The reason is, the monkey will never let that peanut go no matter how close you get.
This metaphor is a great way to realize that when we hold onto unhealthy relationships and unfulfilling jobs, it will eventually kill us, at least our spirit. Some live a lifetime being comfortably miserable because they are so afraid of change. I used to be. Now, I embrace it. Like the roller coaster this life is, as long as I find the blessings in every situation and accept it for what it is, embracing every twist and turn, and every up and down, realizing that the uncomfortable stages are temporary, I will find peace. I will be where I am meant to be. Embrace the ride my friends, and be grateful for each experience. You can and will end up where you want and need to be. Just trust the journey.
Amy Musser, The Angel Whisperer
Amy Musser
Amy Musser, a Hellertown resident, is a spiritual adviser and the owner of The Angel Whisperer based at Sacred Space in Hellertown. She was diagnosed with grade 3 astrocytoma, a type of brain cancer, over the summer of 2016. She documents her progress fighting the disease and shares inspiration on her Facebook page.