Change is scary, exciting and something most people fear. However, without it, life would be boring and we wouldn’t ever become who we are meant to become. Just like the quote says, “Without change, there would be no butterflies.”
Nature changes with each passing season. Flowers and trees were once little seedlings. To become beautiful we must grow from that tiny seed and blossom. But what happens to those who actually start to change to be more negative?
Depression and anxiety can be common in those who struggle from time to time with this crazy journey called life. It can feel like a rollercoaster. And I totally dislike rollercoasters. Whether you lost your job, are grieving from the loss of a loved one, were in some sort of accident, are encountering health issues, etc., life can cause us to decline into a negative mindset. However, it is our choice to stay there for a little while or for a lot longer. If you know my teachings about the power of positive thinking you know that focusing on gratitude and focusing on the good that IS in your life will help you get out of that funk a lot sooner than if you focus on your pain. I highly recommend journaling and writing gratitude lists when you feel negative. Getting outside will help as well. It was a daily task for me to be able to stay positive though my journey with brain cancer. And it was then when I realized who honestly cared about me and who my true and honest friends were.
It is very eye-opening when someone is struggling to see who stays and who leaves your life. There are so many people out there who have good intentions, but that’s where it ends. Their integrity can definitely be lacking, especially if they don’t feel they are getting anything out of the relationship. It is when we struggle that some of us have this pride that refuses to allow us to ask for help until it is completely unavoidable. I found myself in that situation when I couldn’t drive for over a year and had to rely on other people to drive me around. But rather than feel helpless, I felt grateful. I still feel blessed to have so many people who were willing and offering to help me on a daily basis. It was definitely a change I was uncomfortable with, yet I knew I would grow and become who I am meant to become. It was a time when I had to work on me and put myself first. I had to embrace the help that was offered, which even meant accepting money to help me pay my bills since I was unable to work and not yet receiving disability. Yes, it was almost embarrassing, but also humbling. On the other side of cancer, looking back, I see so many changes in people who I thought were friends and sometimes think to myself, “Where were they when I was struggling?” In meditation, the answer came to me as, “You were growing and they were not.” I was then reminded of a quote I had read a few times: “Our vibe attracts our tribe.” That means to me that whatever you are putting out there into the Universe is what you are attracting, even those types of people.
Although, I was feeling on a lower vibration it was only because of my illness. I was still radiating positivity and light and sending it to everyone who was with me in the radiation waiting rooms. I did this so much that the energy of all of us sitting there completely changed. We sang Christmas songs and laughed. Even my radiologist said to me, “What is going on out there? I have never heard so much laughter in all my years of working in this field. You guys are having way too much fun (with a huge smile).” I almost said out loud, “You’re welcome.” HA HA! No one knew that I was sitting there praying and visualizing green healing light around these people. I was so thrilled to know it was helping.
My life did change and for the better. I can’t be around smoke anymore because I felt like I was going to pass out from not being able to breathe. I can’t eat as much crappy food, alcohol didn’t make me feel good at all (not that I ever was a huge drinker) and I couldn’t stand being around low integrity people. I feel energy and after cancer it was even more intense. God and the Universe have a way of filtering these people out of your life. Sometimes you aren’t even aware of it. And now that I have experienced and am still experiencing a huge awakening, I am seeing the true colors more clearly in those who I thought were kind-hearted souls, as I am attracting a much higher vibrational tribe.
I sometimes ask myself, “Did they change?” Usually the answer is yes, however, it isn’t always for the good. Lately I have seen people that I used to have so much respect for mock and mistreat people. They have become actual adult bullies. Their egos seem to need justification, which is something I let go of years ago.
I counsel people who are bullied at school, at home, in the workplace and on social media. Because of my childhood experience with being bullied myself, I understand all too well how much it can hurt. However, I have developed empathy for these bullies. People who can take precious time out of their lives to hurt others must have some sort of hidden pain in order to find enjoyment out of doing it. Whether they are aware of this pain or not, it is somewhere deep within. I have come to an understanding that most bullies have suffered bullying themselves, have low self-esteem, are jealous, suffer from a large ego, hang out with other bullies, like to impress others, need attention or just disagree with anyone they see as different. This truly isn’t anyone’s issue but the bully’s.
My first advice is never to take anything personally. Those who are mature enough to see the bullies for what they are typically don’t anyway. A child will struggle with this though, especially a sensitive child. If you are taking the harsh words and treatment personally, then try to dig deep within yourself to figure out why. Usually this means you have something inside yourself that needs healing. If you are agreeing with what the bully is saying, it will bother you. If you find no truth in what the bully is saying, it won’t. Protect yourself daily in a bubble and speak your truth when you are setting your boundaries. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with filtering these people out of your life. It’s actually healthy. Pray for the bullies since they really need it.
Remember, not all people are going to love and accept you for who you are. And those are the people you need to distance yourself from. The right people will uplift and support you despite your differences. May God continue to bless you with like-minded people who embrace your differences and will grow with you.
Amy Musser, a Hellertown resident, is a spiritual adviser and owner of The Angel Whisperer based at Sacred Space in Hellertown. She was diagnosed with grade 3 astrocytoma, a type of brain cancer, in 2016. She documents her progress fighting the disease and shares inspiration on Facebook.
